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I met Ray during our sophmore year in highschool. We were in the same classes together and we became friends.  We bonded so much, he got to the point where he confessed his love for one of our classmates, a beautiful, nice and smart girl. He had been in love with her for years (since middle school) and he had never told her anything. When he finally called her and confessed his feelings, she said she had felt the same way about him too, but he never tried anything, so she gave up and now she was in love with someone else.

  I listened to him and our friendship became more and more close.  Little by little, I started to see him with other eyes.  But, seeing no interest on his part and after realizing how I didn't stand a chance next to the beautiful girl he had loved, I gave up just like she did. It was easy to stay as friends because he had never known what I had felt.

  Some months after, I discovered someone else, someone who had been in love with me for a while and who I had perfect chemistry and compatibility with, so we started a very solid relatonship. 

  Nearly a year into that relationship, one of my girlfriends gave up my secret and Ray found out what I had kept in wraps.  He came over to my house and asked me if it was true. I had nothing to loose, so I admitted it and we talked about it. After a while, it was time for him to go and I walked him to the door. As we are saying goodbye, we both realized this was the last moment we'd ever have to share with each other.

  I don't even recall if he asked for a kiss. I just know that out of the blue, he got close to me, we closed our eyes and our lips met.  It was the most peaceful, calm and sweet kiss anyone has ever given me. Our lips got a little bit apart and we kissed again. I loved it. We didn't want to let go, but we had to.

Right after he left, I realized that I had been unfaithful to my boyfriend: someone I shared a strong bond with.  I was so embarrased and miserable that I couldn't sleep all night and I cried nonstop, thinking about the irreversible damage I had caused.

  The next day, in class Ray gave me a little note that said, "it was beautiful".  But, all I could think of was what I had done to my boyfriend. So, I made it clear that it had been a mistake and that we needed to keep a distance. Then, I told my boyfriend what had happened. He was upset, but he forgave me and we gave our relationship a second chance.

  Me and my boyfriend ended our relationship and time went by.  My heart had healed and during my senior year, I became friends once again with the author of that sweet and sour moment. I was student body president and I was very busy. He got involved in the student body activities and always pitched in to help me.

  Ray tried to get me back and although I cared for him, I remembered that moment between us as a mistake and I still had doubts on whether he continued feeling love for the girl he had talked to me about.  He asked me to be his girlfriend, but I rejected him, driven by my insecurities.

  Today, 5 years later, living in another city, pursuing my dreams and almost never seeing him anymore, I realize how stupid I was.  We had so much promise and I didn't let him in. I recently saw him again, when I payed a visit to my hometown. I was so startled about seeing him again, that I said all the wrong things and I forgot to ask for his phone number. So, here I am after loosing every single chance to tell him what I still feel for him and not knowing if we'll ever be able to finally be together.

Submit By:  irfaan ali khan
Tue 22 Sep 2009