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I met my wife on Oct. 2, '99. We fell in love fast. I was going through a divorce with my ex-wife, and I was separated for about 3 month from her when we met. My current
wife and I were going through the exact same thing with our ex-spouses. My wife and I had a lot of things in common from
getting divorces to how we were treated in the past with them. During these past 10 yrs have been great (so I thought). I had just found out for the last 8 years i have slowly been pushing her away by not listening communicating or trying to understand her feelings. I never knew what true love was before. My ex-wife and I didn't have real love in the past. It was more of a had-2-marriage cause she was pregnant in school. I was a father at the age of 16. Even though I wasn't in love I married her for my son and it never did work out for 11 yrs. My current marriage is different. I am in love. I do know what love means. I just didn't know how to show it to her. Working, buying things, and being at home isn't enough. I see that now. I've slowly pushed my only true love, my first real love away into another mans arms. He gave her what I didn't. Someone to listen too, talk too, and was a friend to her. Which I didn't. For that I am truly sorry. I cannot blame my wife, it was all my fault for not listening, understanding her needs, or even really caring about how she felt. Although i have been there for her and her children financially i was not there for them mentally. I just found out about 2weeks ago what I've done. She came clean about everything. There was no actual sex between them just internet sex which built up to them both falling madly, and deeply in love. For that it hurts real bad. We are now trying to work this marriage out. We both are trying 100% although she told me
she was not in love with me anymore, but she still has love for me. These last few days she did say the love was slowly coming back. Then today I may have blew it again by showing
my bad side. I do have a real big anger problem. I have been working on this issue but I still need a lot of improvement. I've never hit her and she has never hit me but sometimes words hurt worse then punches. We are still willing to try and make this marriage work. Neither one of us have ever had sex with anyone throughout our marriage. We still have that. She may have cheated with her heart and mind but that can be forgiven. I've told her that I've forgiven her. I can't understand what she's going through between her and her new love, because I've never given my heart or mind to anyone but her in this relationship. I don't blame her, I blame myself for what has happened. The past is the past if she will fully let me back into her heart and mind I will try not to mess things up again. I see the love she once had for me could come back. If I get it again I will not let it go again. I know every marriage has its ups and downs, but this one has been one rocky road. With Christ in my life now I do see me changing, I see my mistakes now. I do believe in my heart my marriage will work through this and will be stronger then ever through Christ. With Christ I believe All Things Are Possible!! A family grows stronger through Christ. I only wish I had found Christ many, many, many years ago for myself, my friends, and my family. I pray to God that my marriage will grow stronger because I've never felt more alive or felt the love in my life.


Submit By:  mohit choudary
Tue 22 Sep 2009