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If you think that being good at sex is a man's job, you're mistaken. Below is Lovingyou.com's advice for avoiding the most common fifteen mistakes women make in bed.

  1. Reading Cosmo like it's the sex bible- Men and women both make this big mistake. The writers for Cosmopolitan have their moments, but as a whole, they are incredibly unreliable sources. Some things they suggest are absolutely absurd and will surely have the opposite effect they claim. From a man: "Do not believe what "Cosmo" tells you. I read it once and it was instructing women to give what I can only describe as a Chinese burn to their boyfriend's [penis]" (from itshiphop.com).

  2. Insecurities - Another rule that goes for both men and women is that the presence of insecurities makes a person undesirable to others. Confidence in and out of the bedroom is the sexiest thing anyone can portray. Just because women pick men apart constantly (I can say that because I admit I do it), doesn't mean they do it back. Almost all men absolutely love the female form, in varying shapes and sizes, and cannot see the imperfections we see.

  3. Lie like a lump on a log - Be active in your sex life and your quest for orgasm. Discover what you like and teach him how to please you. Sex is great fun, if you let it be. Sex doesn't always have to be a workout, though. Slow, relaxing lovemaking definitely has its place.

  4. Thinking men have erogenous zones - There's only one, ladies, and it's not hard to find. A few men enjoy pre-sex fun with other parts of their bodies, and some would like you to venture from it for short bits or as an addition to direct stimulation, but rarely by itself. In fact, it may be an indicator that your guy has some sex issues if he's pushing you to try a lot of craziness in the bedroom. Sometimes men who watch too much porn find themselves trying to play it out with their lovers (and women wonder why they feel inadequate)!

  5. Being self-critical - It sure is difficult for women to take a compliment sometimes, especially if you don't agree with them. Try with all your might to accept his attention and compliments gracefully as often as possible!

  6. Faking orgasms - Never, never, NEVER fake it! If it is because you'd just like to get it over with, get out of bed and don't get back in until you really want to. If you are enjoying the sex and would like to get out from under the pressure to climax, talk to your guy and let him know (might be a buzz kill during sex, but certainly at another time). If you want one, then make the effort to get one. If he's doing something that is stopping you from orgasming, let him know! If you feel incapable of reaching orgasm and wish to do so, do some research on anorgasmia and work it out.

  7. Assuming that men will be "up" for it at the drop of a hat anytime, anywhere - News to me, but apparently, men don't get hard with every passing breeze. Emotions, insecurities, worries, or tiredness can make the grand stand-up take some time. They aren't much different than women in this way, only a woman's process of arousal isn't as visible.

  8. Forgetting how visual men are - Almost all men go crazy at the sensual sights. They never get sick of seeing a naked woman, a woman in lingerie, a woman posed seductively, a woman in the shower, a woman in a bathing suit, a woman anywhere… you get the idea. Just like we want them to recognize our feminine desires, it is important for guys to have their eye candy as well.

  9. Giving him the silent treatment - If he makes you hot, let him know it. You don't have to talk dirty, but make some noise. Let him hear how much you are enjoying yourself. Your sex will get more satisfying when you let him know that he's pleasing you.

  10. Expecting him to think like a woman - While your man really wants to please you and is likely to do whatever he can to make things great for you, it might not come naturally to him. It might never cross his mind to choose his bedding with you in mind, trim up his back hair, or do the things you like during sex. Again, this is about communicating with your lover. Not many people, men or women, are born great lovers. Everyone learns from somewhere, why not have them learn from you?

  11. Not initiating sex - Yet another two way street. Your guy enjoys being pursued as much as you do. It is the glue that holds an intimate relationship together. Neglecting your job to initiate sexual contact will send your lover the message that you aren't interested in it at all. Both partners have got to keep their spoons in the pot.

  12. Losing your sexuality after becoming a mother - Men complain about this all the time and it's often not deserved. What is reality, though, is that women sometimes do get too tired to make their sex lives a priority, too caught up in being a new mother to notice their husband romantically, and too self-critical to be sexy with their guys. You've got to remember that the beginning of a perfect family is the perfect couple. You can't put that relationship on the back burner for long before it burns up.

  13. Letting go of your female allure - Your guy wants to keep all the passion alive in your relationship as much as you do, but if he can't see any of the female sweetness that got him hot for you in the first place, what is he supposed to cling to? The memory of your allure? The friendship that has developed out of your relationship? If you know what it is like to end up with half the guy you fell in love with, make sure you don't do that to the man you love.

  14. Getting your feelings hurt when he doesn't want to cuddle - It's no joke that at orgasm, there are chemicals released in a man's body that makes him want to roll over and go to sleep. Sometimes, the feeling is so intense that cuddling (while still hot and breathing heavy from his performance) with you feels like torture. Give him a break when he needs to rest. Other times (or other men… and I have proof) will be ready to talk and kiss or even get up and do the dishes!

  15. Insisting on being the dominant partner all of the time - Love and sex are about exploring each other and fulfilling each other's desires. Taking control of a sexual experience can be the perfect way of letting your partner know what feels good to you, but you've got to hand over the reigns sometimes as well. His sense of self as a man depends on it, and a good lover is one who realizes their partner's needs and desires.

Submit By:  AMIT KUMAR
Wed 23 Sep 2009